Tow Bar Envy

One of the challenges of this whole caper is going to be transporting my stuff about when I want to relocate so I have been looking into trailers, not literally you understand, people may take offence at me ogling their stuff.

Very shortly after I started considering what sort of trailer to get I began to notice them everywhere. I put this down to the fact that I was now looking for them and that they have been in abundance all along. I approached the fleet manager of the company about getting a tow bar fitted to the car and he said it was fine. He also said that mine was the fourth request he has had this month for tow bars. To my mind either these people are so inspired by the beautiful simplicity of my plan that they are following suit with their own nomadic lifestyle ideas or (much less likely) more people are starting to invest in their own ability to holiday in England and are shunning the usual summer migration to sunnier climes for a week of grockling.

I called Lexus to find out about getting the tow bar affixed to the car and they said it was a swift procedure and for the utterly insane sum of £860 I would be fully kitted out. Once I had picked myself up from the floor and dusted myself off I politely declined before reminding them what a bunch of robbing pirates they are and hanging up. An alternative plan is clearly required. The car has to be returned to the lease company in the same shape it was delivered which means no tow bar. A contact of the fleet manager gave me a quote for about £400 but this would require him to cut through the bumper. This would solve the problem in the short term but would probably require me to part exchange my soul with Lexus for a new bumper in a year or two which is a price I am very reluctant to pay. So back to the drawing board.

I called up a few companies who informed me that there are kits which can be installed without having to perforate the platinum posterior of the car but they are more expensive. Things were not looking too jolly when I was then approached by the fleet manager who had been doing a little homework on the matter and had found a kit that would effectively cover the hole in the bumper and it would cost about £30. He did insist that he wouldn't sort it out if I kept kissing him so I resumed my work, happy in the knowledge that lexus would not be getting any of my money and a tow bar will be mine within a matter of weeks. Next stop, Trailerworld...